It was like nails to a chalkboard.
Thank God I was sitting down because if I had been standing up, I probably would have fallen over.
But before I go any further with that story, I will start with the beginning.. My best friend Marie picked up a rental and drove from Los Angeles straight to yours truly. The night before had been very dark. I didn’t have work and I just couldn’t get out of bed all day. I hated it. It’s so hard to shake this and lead a normal life again by myself. I did it my whole life, and now? Marie practically took off the sheets from under me, dragged me out of bed and pushed me into the shower. In the meantime, she tidied up my room. I tell you, that girl is something else. She packed a bag for the rest of the day and we were off.
We went back to her house and the plan was to get something to eat before we went to our scheduled movie in the afternoon with the family. I suggested our favorite breakfast spot that we went to after church because regardless, the food in incredible and it was the first time in three weeks that I had a craving for anything. We walked in and I ordered my usual (Benedict with well done potatoes). I grabbed the only booth and she called my friend Lee who was supposed to meet us there. There is a gentleman there who is always there on the weekends and would take our order on Sunday when we would go after church. He came to our table and brought our drinks. I smiled and said hello and then he said blurted out, “Hey, where is your husband? Or is that, done?” I get it, but man it doesn’t get anymore direct than that. He said HUSBAND. My heart dropped. He clearly paid attention to the promise ring on my figner. I wonder if he noticed it was absent and I bare a faint tan line on my ring finger. I wanted to crawl in my seat. “Oh, he’s working”, I said and he quickly walked away. Mind you this all happened in Spanish, but Marie heard the word ‘esposo’ and she also saw the look on my face. It wasn’t hard to put together what had just happened. I took several deep breaths and wiped the tears off my face. Lee show up just in time and I was able to enjoy the rest of my breakfast. I gave Lee a hug and apoligized for being so distant.
Thank god for girlfriends. The rest of a day was a rollercoaster. We watched Beauty & the Beast (My previous post obviously gave that away). I sobbed because why not. Marie and I drove back to the house and then we went for a walk. She gets it. She gets all of it. Even the things that sounds ridiculous in my head, she validates it. She lifts me up by telling me I am getting stronger everyday. That scares me. We ended the night with a nice dinner. I let myself enjoy one drink, the company of two of my best friends, and I even wore my heels that I tucked away in my closet. I wore makeup for the first time in three weeks. Normalcy, even if it was just temporary.
Thank you God for the friends that become your family.