Sunday Blues

I was mad at Marie for about 30 minutes today… until I realized this is what friendship is all about.

When I packed up the rest of his things from our bedroom the weekend prior, I secretly hoped I would see him again. I didn’t expect a full-blown conversation because that won’t happen for a while; who knows if it will happen at all… I didn’t care so much about returning all of the other things, but his mail was the most important because he needs to do his taxes. He needs the money more than ever. Tax season was always a plus for us. A little extra money in our pockets always meant we could go on an extra special date night or buy something that would benefit us, or get away to some hotel like we usually did. Those nights were always my favorite. However, just as he needed his taxes, I needed his old phone. Unfortunately we were on the same plan and we were financing our phones at the same time; I was at the end of my payments and he wasn’t even a year in. After everything was said and done, I suspended his line, but in order to cancel the line, I need to pay off the remaining balance on his phone. Lesson learned. I will never share a phone plan with anyone again. I’m not made out of money, nor can I pay it all off so that will be a work in progress and I need to let it go. There is a small bag somewhere in the boxes and the mess that holds all of my cards, love letters, some pictures, and tickets from the last three years of our relationship. I always envisioned myself meeting up with him, getting the last of his things out of my car and handing him the bag myself.

“Here is the last three years of our relationship. Our love. Our memories. Do with it what you will. I will always love you…”

That’s it. I won’t ever get that moment though and I am learning to accept it. Marie let me know that she had tried to get in touch with him through social media, and had also tried his new number. He briefly responded and said they would be in touch to meet up and get his belongings. I was so upset because something that I had pictured in my head wasn’t going to happen and I begged her to please let me go with her. I wanted to let go of the last of his things and see him. I commend her for being so stern and putting her foot down. Deep down, I know if the roles were reversed, I would do the same for her. She said it wouldn’t be good for me. I don’t fully believe that, considering all of the things I had to do in the last three weeks that also haven’t been good for me. Sadly, he never picked up his belongings and never returned her messages or phone calls. His things now reside in our “neutral zone” being my other mother’s (Ann) house, and I hope he picks up all of his things soon. 

Marie, if you’re reading this. Thank you. Thank you for being in my life for the last seven years. Thank you helping me pick up the pieces as you always have. Thank you for being this spit fire of energy that I currently don’t have, but needed over the weekend. Thank you for laughing and letting me laugh with you. Thank you for letting me cry. Thank you for validating everything I have said in the last three weeks. Thank you for listening to everything I have said in the last three weeks. Thank you for being my best friend. You are truly a gift. No one else compares. I love you. 

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